“Fifty Shades of Grey” an erotic novel by British author E.L. James said she wrote the book series as her ”midlife crisis.” If you have not already heard about this book the main character Christian Grey, is a young Adonis billionaire and into BDSM, short for bondage, discipline, sadism and masochism topped with lots of toys. Anastasia, a college literature student is presented with a very detailed dominant and submissive contract by her love interest Christian Grey and becomes his submissive sexual partner.
The author’s first name is Erika, married to a television-writer and has two teenage sons. The lucky husband had tried out a lot of what has been written in the book. James visited one sex shop to discover all the toys out there but did most of the research on the Internet, and sees her in Christian from the dominating standpoint. Apparently the sons have not read the books yet. She said, “It would be far too embarrassing.” Hmmmmmm…….I wonder how much longer this can last?
The inspiration came from Stephanie Meyer’s books “Twilight”. James began posting her writing on a fan fiction website for the “Twilight” books series. Some of Meyer’s fans became James’ fans too, and word spread like fire about the titillating stories. An independent publisher put the books online and within one year, more than 250 million e-books had been sold. A Hollywood bidding war for the movie deal went to Universal/Focus Features worth about $5M. The trilogy “Fifty Shades of Grey,” “Fifty Shades Darker,” and “Fifty Shades Freed” is published by Vintage.
2 million copies have sold in the past four weeks virally by word of mouth and hitting the New York Times and Amazon.com bestseller lists. Bookstores can’t keep it in stock and there are waiting lists all over the place. Now erotic books are front and center in bookstores, while in the past this subject was hidden in the back. Maybe this category will pump up our bookstores, as the demise of Borders who had over 1200 stores six years ago was eaten up by online competition where sex sells.
Readers say this book has improved their sex life, and some women’s perspective are many husbands love the idea their wives are reading this book. Daughters are turning on their moms to this trilogy even if they come from a conservative lineage. Mothers are talking about the books at school pickup every day. It is multi-generational starting with college daughters, married daughters and the Boomer women of today all sharing in the discussion of sexual fantasies. For some it opens a conversation sometimes leading to blushing moments as women are sharing taboo subjects. One can read the graphic sex scenes alone in a private way or with their Kindle commuting to work and no one knows what tantalizing preferences are running through their blood. Strong, smart, successful women are eating this up fantasizing about being submissive and having someone take care of you instead of you spending your time taking care of everyone else.
We thought “Sex In The City” was racy fourteen years ago as we watched these four women in action juicing it up, and the discussions became hotter among friends and family regardless of age. We all wanted to get into the act. “Fifty Shades of Grey” was a topic last week on “The View” and Barbara Walters, 82 said, “When you go home, you want the guy to be in charge. More than be in charge, do very kinky things.” Walters continued to rant and then asked Elisabeth Hasselbeck, “What about you and your husband?” Do you like it when he’s rough?” Think about how times have really changed, when Walters started out in the newsroom she was the lonely woman among a sea of men and if she would have discussed this type of sex on TV, an ousted anchorwoman would have left a legacy behind.
William Levy, 31 the Cuban-American actor and former model is on the “hot list” to play Christian Grey in the movie. Currently he is beating hearts on Dancing With the Stars and this week he sizzled the dance floor with a sultry Rumba. Judge yourself click here to see this very sensual dance. Can you imagine him dancing without his clothes? Caliente! A perfect score, 10, 10, 10!!!
In theaters May 4th, “The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel”, is a British film mixing comedy with drama and takes place in Udaipur India. I liked seeing an elderly cast play the main characters and each of them were on an emotional journey dealing with mature issues like death of a spouse, splitting up after a long marriage, and declaring your sexuality as Tom Wilkinson, 64 authentically portrayed. Bill Nighy, 62 his character visits a sexologist clearly looking for help and advice due to his non-active sex life. He was given a Viagra prescription just like the popular choice in the USA, but maybe the trilogy series “Fifty Shades of Grey” can stimulate movement in the bedroom instead of using the pill for a predictable performance. It does take a partner who is open minded to exploring other options even if “kinky” is not the normal comfort zone. Who am I to judge what is normal? “Just Do It”
After reading my last newsletter, one of my male friends sent me the CNN link on an article explaining how women can take financial advantage of men in a divorce proceeding if they live in a state that follows the alimony laws that were written in the 60’s. Boomer men have been negatively impacted due to the high rate of divorce among this generation.
Effective this month Massachusetts law ends awarding alimony as a permanent entitlement, and for the first time sets guidelines on how the amount of alimony payments should be determined. After Steve Hitner’s business suffered he racked up credit card debt and had to file for bankruptcy. His ex being the lower-earning spouse, was entitled to be supported to the same standard of living during their marriage and as a payer he did not have the right to retire. Additionally his second wife Jeanie, who he married in Massachusetts, was forced to contribute income to supplement Steve’s payments to his ex-wife or non-compliance would put her husband in jail. Many women who were marrying men paying alimony decided to cancel their weddings when this story hit The Boston Globe.
I am sorry to say that the attempt for alimony reform in Florida failed this year so the fight will continue to rewrite the laws for lifelong alimony in this state. Some men have been ordered to carry a life insurance policy that names their former wife sole beneficiary. As men tend to hold the bulk of the financial bucket, these laws unfairly favor women. The laws are antiquated for the 21st century based on the fact that women are more educated with a 1/3 having college degrees and working today, therefore not solely taking care of their children and household like the traditional role their mothers had.
The state of NJ introduced January 30th, 2012 “Blue Ribbon Commission to Study Alimony Reform” and will dissect all aspects of the alimony laws in comparison to other states and propose new legislation if it deems appropriate. In Montclair, NJ a very upscale community, I know a gentleman that gave the house to his ex-wife in lieu of permanent alimony payments. He was surprised along with his attorney that his wife accepted this offer, as he believes she would have made more money over a lifetime of alimony payments. This is why I believe she got the better deal:
1) The house will sell for approximately $600K. If she downsizes and buys a property for $250- $300K with interest rates below 4% there is a substantial amount of money left for investing. Renting is another option, allowing for a much larger sum of money to be invested for her future wealth. The ex-wife inherits $600K that took twenty years to accumulate. The gentleman is living in an apartment, completely depleted and has to build back $600K while paying child support for two children and his son considering Drexel University.
2) Although she was not the breadwinner of the former household, she may substantially earn more now being self-reliant.
3) Being that her husband is 58, she most likely thought about the longevity of his life and figured if he lives another 20 years, rather than receiving alimony over this long period of time she took the money upfront and is no longer financially tied to her ex-husband. Furthermore she could break even if her investments yield a high return over the 20 years.
4) If she remarries and this could happen within the next 5 years (the average after divorce or death of a spouse), the alimony would cease anyway. Most likely she would have only received 50% of the selling price of their home.
5) I believe the alimony laws in NJ will change and ease the financial burden and not deplete retirement funds for men who have been the sole providers during marriage.
As we drove by his former home in Montclair, I felt sad for a brief moment until I realized he has the opportunity to find a loving partner to replace his emotionally starved marriage and there is no monetary value that one can put on an emotional intimate romantic attachmentvs. material possession. It made me happy to think he could be a rich man again when he finds a committed bonding partner.
Connecticut lawmakers are drafting an alimony bill with hearings expected in the next month. Arkansas, Oregon, West Virginia, and the Carolinas have activist setting up “Alimony Reform” groups. Depending upon the state you live in, the laws are governed differently therefore it might be a good idea to seek an attorney if one is considering a second marriage with assets, children and alimony payments to become better educated on how to proceed.
“The Richer Sex” by Liza Mundy is an article that appeared in Time magazine March 26th focusing on the next generation, stating women are poised to become the major breadwinners in a majority of families. “Men are willing to marry up and realize what an advantage a high-earning partner can be.” Liza writes. This offspring belongs to the Boomer parents of today. The tables are turning as our daughters might be paying alimony and negotiating how to divide the assets as the breadwinners of the household. Equal rights and equal pay means equal responsibility.
There has to be a reason why so many Boomers are frolicking and resorting to infidelity these days. I understand how it happens, as I have been approached several times during the past year to engage in an affair. The Apple store can be very social, and while working on my personal project a gentleman who had a red string on his wrist started a conversation about the Kabbalah Centre in NYC. This led him to ask for my number. His gold wedding band did not stop him or the hair stylist that used to commute home on my bus. One evening he slipped me a piece of paper with his phone number. Another night, I went out to dinner by myself at a local restaurant in NJ and the owner started talking to me. We discussed his first marriage and then current marriage to his second wife. Eventually he sat down and then asked me to have dinner with him in the future.
After declining all of these offers, I laughed to myself wondering if there was a green sign above my head. As a single woman, there is absolutely no advantage to partake in these shenanigans as I only see myself getting the short end of the stick. I am looking for men that are available and have enough issues with Boomer dads being the primary care giver for their children at home, therefore a wife in the picture definitely does not appeal to me. Maybe if I were Mormon this would seem normal to me.
Gary Neuman’s book “The Truth About Cheating” surveyed men to get the real reasons behind their infidelity. #1 reason- 48% rated lack of emotional connection or feeling appreciated. “Most men consider it unmanly to ask for a pat on the back, which is why their emotional needs are often overlooked.” said Neuman. 40% of cheating men meet a woman at the office who often praises him, admires him and compliments his efforts. 88% of men said the women they cheated with was not more attractive or in better physical shape than their wife. It was to fill an emotional void.
One man in every three couples will have an affair. Private Affairs and Ashley Madison is two on-line dating sites that targets users looking for extramarital relationships. The later has 1.03 million members. The Internet has made it easier to find men and women who want to participate, but from my experience this is not the only vehicle being used.
I have dated two men consecutively that had cheating spouses who now live with their subsequent boyfriends. The husband or wife is not the only one who takes the blow but the children suffer tremendously. There are eating disorders, emotional issues including abandonment and hatred towards the cheating parent.
The National Center for Family & Marriage Research at Bowling Green State University reported that the divorce rate for people 50 and older has doubled in the past 20 years. “By contrast, the overall divorce rate has declined slightly during that same period.” says Susan Brown, professor of sociology and co-director of the Center. As Boomers we tend to be more accepting of divorce than our parents because we were part of the divorce revolution in the ‘70’s.
As successful Boomer men hit the single scene after divorce some want to marry rich. A male Boomer says, “I’m 56 years old with my own successful business. Mitt Romney I am not, but I can tell I’m in the top 1%. Because of this and my values, I aim high. I plan on marrying someone with wealth equal to or greater than mine. I just would never be satisfied with anything else.” He continues by stating, “It’s not about financial comfort. I have money. It’s about appreciation and awareness. I didn’t marry into wealth, and I didn’t inherit anything. I want somebody who has worked that hard as well. I want someone who can appreciate what it took to get where I am today.” Good luck to him, as this seems unrealistic to me based on the statistic of male dominance in the 1%.
Recently I received an interesting email from the wife of a friend letting me know he was married. Yes, they got married a little over a year ago but he neglected to tell me. Apparently while away on a business trip she decided to check out his PC. The wife had read several correspondences between this gentleman and myself and realized I had no idea he was married. Obviously, he was not wearing his band when we got together but I was put in an awkward position to clarify our relationship with his wife. I openly explained that our platonic relationship started on a business level and was aware of her existence.
Can men and women maintain a friendship whether one is single or married? It seems that the temptation to cross the border is too simple these days. Not everyone can restrain from craving this excitement or filling other voids. We innocently fall into situations that we never expected to be part of. Although 66% of men admit to feeling guilty, this has not stopped them from having an affair. I personally like having male friends and cycle with men in my bike club that are married, but the boundaries are respected and the fun is in the sport.
In 1983 I was at a dance club with my gay friend Michael and we were dancing to ‘Lucky Star’ and I asked, “Who is Madonna?” Relatively unknown at that time, I became a huge fan of her music and continue to be inspired by what she represents as a woman today. Madonna has always played in a man’s world from the music industry virtually lead by men, including all the DJ’s who started playing her demo recordings at the dance clubs in NYC. As an actress, mostly male studio executives decide who gets the role and the publishing industry is dominated by male gender.
Madonna is recognized as the world’s top-selling female recording artist of all time. Highly talented and diversified, she won a Golden Globe for Best Actress in Evita, a children’s book author The EnglishRoses, and designer along with her daughter Lourdes for Material Girl apparel and accessories exclusively at Macy’s. Look for the signature fragrance Truth or Dare launching in April. Always pushing the boundaries lyrically and sexually, she continues to explore despite the controversial sexual fantasies book Sex published in 1992 wrapped in Mylar due to its pornographic content. It retailed for about $100, not a cheap peep.
Madonna, 53 attended the University of Michigan on a dance scholarship but dropped out in 1977 (after three semesters) and moved to NYC to pursue her career in modern dance. A Boomer along with the late Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Brad Pitt, Donna Karan, Ellen DeGeneres, Christie Brinkley all did not graduate college but have very successful careers.
The most recent project is W.E., a romantic drama film co-written and directed by Madonna based on the scandalous relationship between Britain’s King Edward VIII and American divorcee Wallis Simpson. After the love affair became public in 1935 the monarch abdicated his royal position. The Los Angeles Times review was harsh, “Leaves one wishing she’d find other creative outlets for those times when she’s bored with the pop-star life.” The British tabloids equally slammed it, “Fatally mishandled” and “Her direction is so all over the shop that it barely qualifies as direction at all.” OUCH! OK give the girl a break, she stretched her boundaries into an area that is not as familiar as music and this is what I admire about Madonna. No guts no glory. Last month at the Golden Globe, she did win for ‘Masterpiece”, Best Original Song from the film W.E.
I was disappointed with her performance at the Super Bowl. It felt stiff to me especially with the thigh high boots that restricted the moves. She arrived as a Gladiator and left with Pom Poms in her hands representing a cheerleader so she could relate to whom? Certainly not the Boomers she grew up with nor any High School kids. Granted she wanted to be more modest in her clothing choice for national TV family viewership, but she couldn’t move or dance with all that fabric wrapped around her tiny frame. She’s a great dancer but the personal rhythm was missing.
Madonna is competitive, a woman of conviction and entertains all publicity whether it is good or bad. We all get knocked down, including the Giants but you get up and continue the game until you win. ‘Time’ considers her to be one of the “25 Most Powerful Women of the Past Century” for being an influential figure in contemporary music. Lady Gaga is completely influenced by Madonna’s persona, music, style and shock factor but she has a long journey to catch up and be considered an original in her own right. For now she is only borrowing ideas and living in the shadow of the Super Madonna.
Bro-tox or Beau-tox, are the new marketing buzzwords for men to have Botox, the injections that fade lines on the face. On ABC Nightline this week, there was a feature story about a wife who gave her husband Marc a gift certificate for a Bro-tox session instead of the coveted chainsaw on his list. At 38, with barely any crows feet he said. “Let’s give it a shot.” With no pun intended, he can now be added to the 300,000 men who had Bro-tox last year. This is still a very small % when there were 2.5 M Botox procedures in 2010. Yikes, by the time Marc turns 50 I wonder how much he will have spent to continue extinguishing the natural road map that defines the face.
Last month the Internet hoax that spread like fire reported Jon Bon Jovi was dead. Turning 50 this year, he looks hot to me and far from dead. Bon Jovi was asked in 2007 if he ever had Botox. He replied, “God no! See, everything moves.” This doesn’t mean that he has not had plastic surgery.
George Clooney, 51 with an estimated net worth 160 M is quite handsome, and his signs of aging give him a distinctive edge and have not prevented his bankability in America. He insists when asked, “No Botox for me.” In 2008, Clooney had joked that he never had plastic surgery except one area. “I did get my balls done though. I got them unwrinkled. It’s the new thing in Hollywood, ball ironing.” Gotta love his sense of humor. He has a point, you can get rid of all the lines on your face but once you expose yourself there’s no hiding under a towel.
A gentleman friend sent me an article on “Why French women have more sex than their American sisters.” In 2001, a study published in the Journal of Sex Research focused on these two countries and found the possibility of having sex after 50 is strongly dependent on the capacity to be in a relationship. There is no sex if one is not in a relationship. Americans want the institution of marriage, but in France cohabitation is accepted in their culture. Catherine Deneuve said in an interview “Marriage is obsolete and a trap.” The French believe that living together garners companionship for older men and women. Alain Giami, one of the principle directors of this study suggests that American women remove themselves from the sexual market due to a loss of interest, and although they look sexy with cosmetic surgery this is not enough to sustain a sexual relationship. You have to feelsexy, and the French grow up and live in a sexier culture. Anyone moving to France, both genders stand to gain if this study is true?
Like the movie “Beauty and the Beast” many Boomers want the second marriage and are waiting for their prince to arrive. Maybe we should fast forward this movie and think in terms of other options such as a significant live-in partner. My mother’s generation would say this is shacking up, but so what if it works. We will still have all of the conveniences like our married counterparts and most importantly a loving relationship.
The other night I met a friend at Miss Lily’s on W. Houston in Soho. One of the owners of the Rockhouse Hotel in Negril, Jamaica owns this restaurant and the vibe is as close to Jamaican without being on the island. The music was tropical in feel but mixed with a cool spin, and the staff there is not only beautiful and sexy but also cordial. The yummy cocktail “Genius of Love” was made with Soju, considered Korean vodka, passion fruit, fresh mint and raspberries to top it off. Cocktails are the specialty of the house. The codfish fritters as an appetizer is one of their specialties, but personally I am not a fan of cod or fried fish. I had the oxtail stew that fell right off the bone and my dining partner had the curry goat but found it to be very salty. To make up for the salty entrée, our waiter (arms like David Beckham) brought us fried plantains and delicious carrot cake that I would bring to someone’s home. This is not about a gourmet experience, but a comfortable atmosphere mixing a lot of different cultures and flavors together.
A romantic dinner to kick off the New Year or a weekend in Jamaica can really spice things up for all of you that are pondering the message in this newsletter. ENJOY!
It’s remarkable to think that Boomers account for about 28% of the US population. This generation is split, as some have raised children and are now empty nesters while others still have their children at home. Currently the majority of Boomers are in the fifties, and some are approaching the mass exodus of divorce now that the kids are in college, graduating or out of the house. Itching for freedom and then tasting the single life, loneliness can set in and a dog becomes the new family member. This generation is more likely to own pets than any other age group.
Dogs represent many things to their owners like loyalty, companionship, protection, guardian angel, love and a sense of community. When you walk through Central Park, you can see how dogs are magnets for attention and bring laughter and smiles to our faces. I know a woman who walked her dog at this park every morning before work and met her future husband as he routinely jogged. Romance can begin at the local dog park for both owner and dog mates. There are bulletin boards for owners to set up play-dates at some doggie playgrounds. Do not underestimate your dog’s ability to sniff out the right stuff for the both of you.
According to a survey from the American Animal Hospital Association (AAHA), almost 21% of owners have tried a holistic remedy that may include massage, Reiki (touch healing), botanical remedies, Chinese herbs, laser therapy, chiropractic and acupuncture for pain management in pets. The homeopathy approach is to plan treatments to strengthen the whole body instead of targeting only the illness to get rid of the symptom. Holistic practitioners have been trained only in healing techniques and should not replace a DVM who still uses Western medicine when needed. Integrative veterinarians practice both conventional and holistic techniques. In comparison, Boomers say they are trying to find natural solutions to avoid prescription drugs for themselves, but the numbers are not that high to show this is true. 77% use prescription drugs and 61% over the counter drugs.
Pusuke, the world’s oldest dog according to Guinness World Records died this month in Japan at the age of 26 years and eight months. It is possible for animals to outlive their owners, therefore Boomers should think about making provisions, have a pet trust which is a legal document or name a caretaker when estate planning. Assuming that a family member will take your dog may not happen, if they do not want the responsibility or financial burden. If not, your pet will go to a shelter and might be euthanized as the Humane Society of the USA estimates 6- 8 million dogs and cats enter shelters annually and only half are adopted.
A unique gift idea this holiday season is to adopt a dog or animal from a rescue center. Many of them have already been trained and are more mature and prove to be loving and loyal pets. To adopt a homeless pet clickPetfinder.com.
For those lucky dogs that already have a home, a trend among many fashion designers, their dogs eat and live in style. Isaac Mizrahi’s dog Harry loves lobster. Chris Benz’s dog eats French fries and bananas. What? If you want to keep your dog in style check out Barneys.com for the most gorgeous wardrobe and accessories your dog can own.
Meryl Streep is magnificent in the film “The Iron Lady” based on the life of Margaret Thatcher, the first female Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. It is said that Streep’s voice is almost exactly right, the face a mirror image and her correct portrayal of absolute conviction did drive some of her Cabinet to become the enemy. The story is told through the eyes of dementia, as an older woman the Thatcher character looks back on her powerful career not afraid to take on any battle including the Falklands war, trade unions and Poll Tax Riots. Some former members of her Cabinet felt this was highly insensitive to show a woman in this state of mind, because she is still alive at 86 but not able to show her greatness due to Alzheimer, the debilitating disease that destroys the brain. I liked the contrast of the scenes depicting a young strong leader and then the personal memories that had not escaped her mind. This film is a tribute to Margaret Thatcher and the leadership lessons that endure.
At 62, Meryl Streep is on the January ‘12 Vogue cover hopefully setting a precedence that Boomer women are beautiful and intelligent in their own right. The fashion industry continuously rewards the younger models and actresses with contracts and editors love them on their magazine covers because they believe Americans identify with this as we age. Streep has taken on another role advocating the creation of the National Women’s History Museum in Washington, DC. She had one request, that the group of powerful Washington women who are united on this cause be featured in this Vogue issue. Now that’s a lady with an iron fist. Watch the behind-the-scenes video on Vogue.com with Meryl Streep and these DC political ladies who reveal their positions on why America should have the first museum dedicated to historical monumental women.
I would like to wish everyone a Happy Hanukkah and Merry Christmas. In the spirit of sharing, let 2012 be a year of significant rewards both spiritually and harmoniously lasting among family and friends.
The documentary film “Miss Representation” premiered at the Sundance Film Festival in 2011, and explores how mainstream media contributes to the under-representation of women in influential positions and often portrays women and girls in a negative light leading to a cross generational movement. Men rule the majority of media. Media gets revenues from advertising and some of these companies want the ad campaigns to reveal sexual messages and the exploitation of women’s bodies in exchange for dollars. There are plenty of campaigns that require young models (both male & female) to expose themselves in a very explicit body gesture that would have been considered shocking in the 80’s but this has become the norm. This movie was written, directed and produced by Jennifer Siebel Newsome. It premiered on OWN, Oprah’s network last month and re-aired on November 12th.
I bring this up because many Boomers are still raising teenagers who are completely influenced by what the media is teaching or portraying both good and demoralizing. Between TV, Internet, movies, magazines, and music it equals 10 hours and 45 minutes of media consumption a day. Girls are taught that what is most important is how they look, and their value and worth depends upon this regardless of their achievements. This is the same message boys receive about girls. Women make up 51% of the US population but only comprise of 17% in Congress.
Geena Davis was cast in “A League of Their Own” directed by Penny Marshall in 1992. Many teenage girls told Davis this movie changed their lives by participating in sports. This was a positive message for our children, although in twenty years since this movie debut there are not enough examples. Today there are still not a lot of female directors in the movie industry. Only 16% of all writers, directors, producers, cinematographers and editors are women. As Katie Couric said “The media can awaken and change minds. It depends upon who is piloting the plane.” On a side note, Penny Marshall has Stage 4 lung cancer and is undergoing chemotherapy treatments in LA. This is very sad news and I wish her the best.
Here is an 8-minute trailer that you can watch for Miss Representation and you will be able to see very powerful women being interviewed and their perspectives on how media is shaping our nation. Want to get involved, email the Networks calling for the immediate cancellation of shows that are offensive and sexist. As you shop for gifts this season, shun companies who advertise negative messages for both genders. To reach missrepresentation.org
As Boomers we live in such an open society from when we were growing up. This exposure allows us to have a social voice and determine how brands are responsible to society. We have a lot more control as a consumer and because of the information that we receive through Facebook, Twitter, You Tube and the Internet we can simply stop buying a product that doesn’t correctly support our morals and values. If mobile technology helped organize the overthrow of leaders in Egypt and Libya, than as Americans and representing 75 million Boomers in our country we can certainly be a force in consumerism and media.
I just returned from London and I was told that silver hair is a current trend. In NYC I use the subway and walking as my main transportation and being on the streets this trend has been happening for the past year. Lady Gaga continues to wear silver wigs and wore this color for her interview yesterday on GMA. For any Boomer considering the transition to silver this may be a great time to jump in and forgo the color. Silver continues to be a trend on the runways, but these models have to alter their color or wear wigs to be white blond when we can get the original silver color for free. Carmen who turned 80 this year still continues to model with her signature chic silver nest. American Salon magazine added a purple hairpiece to my hair to show how you can have fun but not change the color permanently. If more women transition to silver, this color will become as common as being a brunette. Hmmm……something to think about?
Wishing you a warm and bountiful Thanksgiving with family and friends.
Aging performing artists are when they are eligible for early retirement collecting Social Security at 62. In NY & LA more than half in both cities considered themselves “not retired.” Actors can have a lifetime of working in their art, while dancers due to the physical age limit can be curtailed based on their physical requirements. In the US, dancers tend to stop dancing in their mid-thirties the youngest out of all visual arts.
Many performers continue training or “taking class” to maintain their social networks, hone their craft and avoid isolation as 61% of our aging NYC performers live alone. For musicians in LA, recording is a way to preserve their legacy and they have the highest household income for aging professionals averaging $156,250 vs. actor $44,855 but in NY a musician earns a lot less $70,633 vs. actor $48,133. The overnight star is really a myth, as the reality for most working actors is the belief they are part of American culture making “art” and experiencing gratification, joy and satisfaction as the income becomes secondary. Regardless of the irregularity of artistic work and income, in NYC 39% have secondary occupations and these artists feel they are now making the best work of their lives. In my commercial acting class, about 50% of the actors are 45 plus and many have come back from a hiatus.
There is always conversation about the lack of roles and opportunities for older actors especially in TV and film, but currently 2011 has many Boomers starring on Broadway in some of the finest productions in theater. Bernadette Peters, 63 and Rob Raines, 61 star in Follies as a couple that were members of the “Weismann’s Follies” and reunite with other cast members remembering their past glorious days and face the harsher realities of the present. Angela Bassett, 53 and Samuel Jackson, 62 in Mountaintop based on Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s night before his assassination. John Larroquette, 63 in How To Succeed In Business. Victoria Clark, 53 starring as very strict Mother Superior in Sister Act along with Fred Applegate, 58 as Monsignor O’Hara. Alan Rickman, 65 stars as a teacher who believes he wrote the book on what makes an author great in Seminar, a new comedy that previewed yesterday. Kim Cattrall, 55 starring in Noel Coward’s Private Lives sees her ex-husband in Deauville while they are both honeymooning with their new spouses and rekindle in a scandalous way, previews begin November 6th.
Diane Keaton, 65 is celebrating her first fashion campaign for Chico’s and will appear in its holiday advertising print images and commercials for network TV along with syndicated programs. The tag line “Live for the present” has a double message, personal spiritual mantra and a reminder of the gift-giving season.
Give yourself a gift, and visit the 4-D interactive Firmenich & Sephora Sensorium installation on 14th Street in the Meatpacking District. My favorite was the fragrance bar where we smelled unbranded scents grouped into “flights” of fragrance according to specific impressions that perfumers create to evoke feelings or a mood. The $15 admission is redeemable at any Sephora retail store or Sephora.com. Hurry it ends November 27th, 2011.
Maybe you would rather put your $15 towards the movie, “The Skin I Live In,” starring the very hot Antonio Banderas, 51 in Spanish subtitles. Although his character as a doctor is more like the mad scientist you begin to like this bad boy. The subjects are all twisted together in some weird way, but the most perverse aspect was his creation of the perfect woman with baby soft, sensual flawless skin, round full breasts, size 4 and no cellulite to be found. To me, he falls dangerously in love with his creation an impossible dream he should have left on the table. Warning, this movie can be shocking as it deals with a lot of disturbing themes.
Celebrate the arts and culture, a perfect gift this holiday season!
For many Boomers the term budget was like foreign policy either far removed or kept secretive. Today the conversation flows more fluidly, and when I talk to people the word budget or cutting back is more evident in their lifestyles. For some women, the $150 haircut has now been reduced to $100 or less. Many Dermatology Centers are providing one-hour facial treatments that give the same glow as Bliss but for half the price. Salons have felt the crunch because their clientele are “stretching” services extra weeks to yield one less visit a year. Many men and women are now coloring their hair at home. Several households have discontinued the monthly cleaning service that can now pay for a couple of monthly restaurant bills. One family in the area terminated their country club membership, a nice chunk of change available for the college education fund that has been depleted due to investment portfolios plummeting.
Many people will forgo driving to work in lieu of public transportation not only to ‘go green’, but with high gasoline prices and bridge tolls on the rise adding to the outrageous parking garage fees in large cities across America, this luxury should be reconsidered. The Port Authority of NY & NJ has planned massive hikes for the GWB, Bayonne and Goethals bridges, the Outerbridge Crossing and the Lincoln and Holland tunnels through 2015. Most of the money is earmarked to fund construction jobs for the $11 billion World Trade Center project.
Readjusting our way of thinking and learning how to skim the fat can be a game for many of us to master. Manufacturers will be increasing prices on clothing, bedding and other soft goods this holiday season. As consumers, we are conditioned to living in what is called “the new normal”, learning how to be able to afford reasonable amounts of wants and needs.
Livingsocial.com (offers across the USA) and bloomspot.com (offers NY & select major cities) are two websites that email daily luxury discount offerings on restaurants, yoga, Pilates, teeth whitening, spa services, prescription eyewear, art classes, walking tours, Manhattan cruises and the list goes on. FREE sign up.
Dubset.com hosts the world’s top DJs who have their own channels with many genre of new music to discover at home, and you can create your own custom channel with your favorites for FREE. I like DJ Cassidy who spins R & B.
If you are looking for a cool modern affordable hotel in NYC for out-of-town guests or maybe yourself Yotel is the place to be. A trend right now is boutique hotels that offer luxury at a price. The premium cabin rooms are under 200 sq. ft. but very efficient with space and include continental breakfast and gym. Other amenities are outdoor terrace, bars, excellent sushi at Dohyo and a futuristic robot that stores your luggage. FREE WiFi.
Last weekend I was cycling with BTCNJ and we stopped at Floyd Bennett Field in Brooklyn to watch the remote control airplanes take off. One $8,000 plane had crashed and was completely destroyed, a great loss and expensive hobby. The true luxury market is NOT dead, as Neiman Marcus revenues are up 8.40% over the same period last year and Hermes reported revenues increased 21.29% as of second quarter. We can learn how to play in this game for less money.
If a plane is not in your budget, Aviator Sports Center is also located at Floyd Bennett Field and offers skating w/ rentals, rock climbing, gymnastics, Sky Jump, Max Flight all for $10 or less per person. This can be a bargain in comparison to the average non-matinee adult movie ticket.
Tonight is Fashion Night Out (FNO), a global force with stores participating from 18 countries in more than 250 cities worldwide and for the first time about 200 e-commerce sites will be taking part. Shoppers can enjoy cocktails, passed hors d’oeuvres while experiencing fashion shows, DJs, and makeovers. In NYC, Rachel Zoe will be at Bloomingdale’s, Ivanka Trump & Vince Camuto at Lord & Taylor, Joss Stone will perform live at Macy’s. Tommy Hilfiger, Kelly Rowland and many more will be making personal appearances to encourage people that fashion can be fabulous.
In 2008, a study reported that 28 million Americans are over shoppers due to many reasons besides credit cards. Compulsive buying disorder develops into many aftershocks and can either become dangerous or affects your relationships with family or friends. Our society considers drug addiction or alcoholism to be more serious, although people have committed suicide because over shopping has lead to overwhelming debt and has put tremendous pressure on their lifestyle in a way that becomes too difficult to cope with due to guilt and shame. For many years this disorder was ignored and only in the last decade have we seen psychiatric literature and studies addressing this problem, one with significant emotional, social, occupational and financial consequences. Dr. April Benson Ph.D. author of “To Buy or Not To Buy” discusses with Susan Hersh the underlying “authentic needs” that lead men and women into a compulsive buying disorder and what action they can take to help overcome this addiction.